Wouldn’t it be nice if you never failed at ANYHING?
What if it seemed like you had “The Midas Touch” ALL THE TIME?
You ever known someone that seemed like everything they touched turned to gold?
Did you stop and ask yourself “How are they doing this?”
What it is that these people posses that seems to keep them on top while the rest of the world is on a constant down-slide?
There really are not that much different from you.
The only difference is they learned how to become the master at overcoming all failures.
Once you learn how to achieve this with a few simple steps, you will find that these so called “failures” seem to happen less and less.
You will start to discover that what you used to refer to as a major setback now becomes the stepping stone to your new found success.
You can start to easily turn your disappointments into life changing pivotal moments that you look back on and praise the moment they happened to you just like Jennifer Gresham.
[quote]So here’s everything I’ve learned, from my own experiences and others, about overcoming the emotional toll of defeat, and more importantly, how to keep on living well in spite of it.
Once the sting of a traumatic event begins to lessen, it’s a great time to take stock of your motivations. After our second loss, when I wasn’t sure if I could continue with the intensity and madness that comes with fertility treatment, we asked ourselves why we wanted another child.
Was it because we worried our daughter would be damaged in some way without a sibling? Were we trying to please our families? Or was it simply that we thought another child would fill our lives with more joy?
The answer is important but it wasn’t obvious. We spent a lot of time talking and imagining how our lives would change whether we had another child or didn’t.
How this applies to you: Sometimes our disappointment is driven by a fear of change that isn’t real. We wrap our self-worth around awards and promotions that aren’t meaningful (or if they are, it makes that self reflection even more valuable). Whether it’s therapy or just discussing things with a friend, get clear on why you wanted what you did. You might find that your disappointment is an opportunity to change course towards a more positive direction.
Once you know why you’re fighting for a dream, it’s a lot easier to keep going. I don’t care to admit how many times I confided to friends, ”this is our last try,” and then changed my mind after finding it impossible to put our daughter’s crib up on Craigslist.
Brooke Shields attempted in vitro fertilization seven times before she finally had her baby Rowan. John Grisham’s story A Time to Kill was rejected 28 times before it found a publisher.
How this applies to you: There’s no magic number of times you try something before it either works or you concede to quit with honor. There are no guarantees your persistence will pay. You just have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and believe, “I gave it everything I had.”
Most people won’t do this. They’ll blow it off as silly, but it’s really powerful. Laughter releases “feel good” chemicals such as serotonin into the body, relieving tension and providing a momentary escape from the emotions that plague you.
It’s also a heck of a lot more fun than crying.
When I am feeling really depressed by my inability to conceive, I watch these hilariously poignant videos called “Birds and Bees Can’t Always Make Babies.” (Warning: there are a ton of inside jokes in those videos. It’s not my fault if you don’t find them funny too, but hey, good for you. That means you’re not infertile.)
How this applies to you: I’m convinced you can find a funny video on almost any topic on You Tube. If that doesn’t work, nothing cures the job blues better than your favorite comedy, a bowl of ice cream, and a great big belly laugh. Just do it.
Infertility treatment can be all consuming. You can’t use exercise or travel as a distraction. You look like a junkie from all the blood draws, injections, and acupuncture sticks. And then you have to make up excuses as to why you have a doctor’s appointment every other day for weeks. For a whole year, many of my co-workers thought I was battling cancer.
After all that, I have to tell you, a negative result (or worse, a loss) was devastating. And each successive failure was worse than the last.
Some days, it is hard to get up in the morning and care about much of anything outside my uterus.
Then I remind myself that I won the lottery once. Who am I to complain I can’t win a second time?
How this applies to you: During times like these, gratitude only comes with practice. Focus on what’s going right in your life; make a list of all the “lucky breaks” you’re probably taking for granted. Then allow yourself to enjoy them. You don’t have to pay homage to what could have been by being miserable. Pay your respects by acknowledging that what you have is enough.
A dream has died.
One of the big myths about grief is that it’s something you just “get over.” In fact, though you never stop grieving, you do learn to live with it. The problem is, you can’t get there logically. You have to follow the soggy breadcrumbs of your emotions and hope they take you home.
Try just taking one step at a time. When you want to get over a failure see if you can pick just one step that may apply the most to you at the time and begin to take immediate action.
It IS this easy!
[box type=”tick” size=”large” style=”rounded”]Share how your failures have become your biggest success story in the comments below. Best COMEBACK story will get a free copy of my book “The Power Of Habit – Charles Duhigg Essentials”[/box]