The Pressure to ‘Get Over It’ is Violent “Just move on.” If I had a nickel for every time some well-meaning “positive” person told me to just get over it, I’d have enough money to buy the silence of every guru on the planet. Look, let’s be honest: telling someone to “get over it” isn’t … Read more
The Illusion of the Gap Most of us spend our entire lives running a race toward a finish line that moves every time we get close. We call it “self-improvement,” but often, it’s just a sophisticated form of torture. “People may set goals and engage in various behaviors to bridge the gap between their actual … Read more
I keep seeing these posts. You know the ones. Someone’s on a beach in Bali or hiking some trail in Bogor, captioned: “Finally taking time to heal.” Look, let’s be real: That isn’t healing. That’s a vacation. Now, don’t get me wrong—vacations are great. I love a good beach. But we’ve rebranded “taking a break” … Read more
The Productivity Porn Trap: When Optimization Becomes the Job You know the feeling. You spend three hours researching the perfect Notion template, watching four different “Day in the Life of a CEO” videos, and color-coding your calendar until it looks like a piece of modern art. And by the time you’ve “optimized” your workflow, you’re … Read more
Are You Doing Self-Help, or is Self-Help Doing You? There is a dangerous side to the optimization game. We get so caught up in the mechanics of “betterment”—the habits, the routines, the books—that we mistake the preparation for the actual game of life. “You can spend your whole life preparing for, instead of playing, the … Read more