I keep seeing these posts. You know the ones. Someone’s on a beach in Bali or hiking some trail in Bogor, captioned: “Finally taking time to heal.”
Look, let’s be real: That isn’t healing. That’s a vacation.
Now, don’t get me wrong—vacations are great. I love a good beach. But we’ve rebranded “taking a break” as “healing,” and in doing so, we’ve turned the most sacred part of the human experience into a consumer product. A trend. A fad.
But there’s a darker version of this. A version that doesn’t happen on a beach, but in the depths of your “inner work.”
I’m talking about the Healing Treadmill.
You know the feeling. You’ve done the shadow work. You’ve cleared your chakras. You’ve spent thousands on modalities, workshops, and “breakthrough” sessions. You’ve read every book on trauma and you can speak the language of “healing” fluently. And yet… you still feel like you’re one “missing piece” away from actually being okay.
You’re running. Fast. You’re putting in the work. You’re “doing the process.” But you aren’t actually moving anywhere. You’re just sweating on a machine that’s designed to keep you in place.
Here is the truth-bomb: You might be addicted to the process of healing yourself.
It sounds crazy, right? Why would anyone be addicted to pain or “brokenness”?
Because the “Wounded Identity” is a hell of a shield. As long as you are “in process,” you have a built-in excuse for why you aren’t stepping into your power. As long as you’re “healing,” you don’t have to be visible. You don’t have to lead. You don’t have to take responsibility for the absolute magnitude of the gifts you were born with.
The treadmill is comfortable. It’s a familiar loop of: Insight → Temporary High → Relapse → Search for a new modality.
It’s spiritual procrastination. Pure and simple.
When your soul starts screaming “ENOUGH,” you call it burnout. You think you need more rest, more therapy, more “space.” But it’s not burnout. It’s a wake-up call. Your soul didn’t incarnate to spend this entire lifetime in a waiting room, preparing to live. It incarnated to LIVE.
It is time to step off the machine.
Stop asking, “What is still wrong with me?” and start asking, “What wants to emerge through me?”
Your purpose does not require you to be flawless. Your gifts do not require you to be “fully healed” before they can be used. In fact, the most powerful things you have to offer the world are often woven directly into the shards of your breakdown.
The Action Plan:
- Stop the search. Cancel that “introductory” session for the new modality you found on Instagram.
- Close the loop. Pick one thing you’ve “processed” a thousand times and decide: “I am done with this chapter.”
- Embody the wisdom. Instead of talking about your transformation, do one thing today that requires you to act as if you are already whole.
Stop waiting to be “ready.” You were ready the moment you realized the treadmill was a lie. Now get off the machine and start walking.