I stumbled across this video and it hit me. We’re told to chase the ‘best version’ of ourselves like it’s some prize at the end of a race. But what if that version is just a ghost? Something that doesn’t actually exist, but keeps us from liking who we are right now.
The ideal self refers to the person an individual aspires to become. It embodies one’s goals, ambitions, and dreams… The gap between these two concepts can influence self-esteem. A smaller gap can lead to higher self-esteem, while a larger gap can result in feelings of dissatisfaction or inadequacy.
Source: Simply Psychology
That ‘gap’ is where the misery lives. We spend all our energy trying to close it, not realizing the ideal self is a moving target. The more we ‘improve,’ the further the ghost moves.
We compare ourselves to others, get lost in their idealized lives, and forget to enjoy our own.
Source: Psychology Today
Maybe the move isn’t to close the gap, but to stop believing in the ghost. We can stop trying to ‘solve’ our lives and just start living them. If you’re tired of the chase, you might want to look into the idea that The ‘Ideal Self’ is a Ghost.