I think I’ve spent the last few years building a professional resume for a job I never actually applied for.
“Her healing journey had stopped looking like a path to recovery and started looking suspiciously like a professional resume for a job she never applied for.”
— Tye and Tie
Man, that hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized I was so busy “processing” and “integrating” and “unpacking” that I’d basically turned my life into a full-time job of being a patient. I was a specialist in my own pathology, but I forgot how to actually just… be a person.
It’s a weird loop. You start healing to get free, but then “the person who is healing” becomes your whole identity. If you actually got “better,” you wouldn’t know who you are anymore. The wound becomes the anchor.
“The trap is mistaking healing for the destination.”
— Allysha Lavino
Exactly. We’re sold this idea that there’s a finish line where we’re “100% healed” and then life finally starts. But that’s just another lie from the wellness machine to keep us buying the next workshop.
I’m leaning into the “menty b” spiral now. Not a setback, just a loop. You’re seeing the same landscape, just from a slightly higher vantage point.
If you’ve felt like you’re just running in place, I wrote a bit more about the healing journey as a treadmill.
Maybe the point isn’t to reach the destination. Maybe the point is to just put down the map and go for a walk.