I’ve always been a bit of a klutz. I break things. Glasses, plates, promises—usually in that order. For a long time, I thought the goal was to just… not break. To keep everything pristine. To be the person who never cracks under pressure.
But then I stumbled across this Japanese thing called Kintsugi. Instead of throwing away a broken bowl, they fix it with gold. They don’t even try to hide the cracks; they make them the most expensive part of the piece.
“You learn to honor your evolution by recognizing that a mended heart or a weathered spirit often possesses more character than one that has never been tested.”
— Philosopedia
That shifted something for me. I spent so much time trying to “undo” my mistakes or “erase” the parts of my past that felt jagged. I thought the gold was something you added *after* you were fixed. But the point of Kintsugi is that the gold *is* the fix. The beauty is in the repair, not the original state.
This video hits on something I’ve felt for years: the idea that we don’t need to detach from our trauma to heal. We just need to stop being ashamed of the seams. Our scars aren’t failures; they’re just the map of where we’ve been. When you stop fighting the fact that you’re broken, you actually start to become powerful.
“The filing process works to adjust the thickness of the lines between the joined pieces… Therapy is a bit like this filing away process.”
— Natajsa Wagner
I love the idea of “filing the edges.” It’s not about changing the shape of the broken pieces—because if you do, they won’t fit together anymore. It’s about making the edges smooth enough to bond. It’s slow. It’s tedious. It’s not a “quick fix” or a magical intervention. It’s just… work. Patient, respectful work.
“I am more than broken. In fact, there is a strength, a power even, in understanding brokenness, because embracing our brokenness creates a need and desire for mercy.”
— Bryan Stevenson
At the end of the day, our shared brokenness is the only thing that actually connects us. If we’re all pretending to be pristine, we’re just a room full of polished statues. But when we show the cracks, that’s where the mercy gets in. It’s the only way we actually see each other.
If you’re still in the “shattered” phase, just know that you aren’t a project to be solved. You’re just a piece of art in progress. You might want to read my thoughts on why your life isn’t a broken toaster.
Keep your gaps. Fill them with gold. Just keep weaving.