I’ve spent a lot of time feeling like I was failing at the one thing I was actually trying to do: get better. You know that feeling? Where you have a great month, you feel like you’ve finally ‘arrived,’ and then one bad Tuesday happens and you feel like you’re back at square one.
I found this Psychology Today piece that nails it. It talks about how we try to force healing into a linear timeline—like it’s a project with a deadline. But trauma doesn’t check a calendar.
“The expectation to “get over it” can lead to profound shame and isolation, hindering the very process of healing trauma.”
Why Trauma Survivors Can’t Just “Get Over It”
Then I came across this video. It’s a deep dive into rebuilding emotional safety. It reminded me that ‘closure’ is mostly a myth we’ve been sold to make other people feel more comfortable with our pain.
And this blog post from Mosaic Bloom. I love how they describe healing as a spiral. You revisit the same wounds, but you’re coming at them from a different place every time. You aren’t circling the drain; you’re climbing.
“Your trauma happened to you, not to a timeline. Your healing gets to happen the same way—in your body, in your time, in your way.”
The Myth of ‘Getting Over It’
The truth is, the pressure to ‘heal’ can be its own kind of violence. When we treat our lives like a repair manual, we miss the beauty of the shards. If you’re tired of the treadmill, you might want to look at my thoughts on the violence of ‘healing’.
Stop trying to solve yourself. Just be here. The spiral is where the life is.